I haven’t been able to write because my computer died. And I haven’t been able to put into words this part of my journey. It’s been really boring, too. Just a daily trudge through food and trying not to over exercise. Finding healthy balances.
This Christmas time has been so much brighter and cheerful than last year. I was able to help prepare holiday food without panicking – even able to physically touch fear foods without internal meltdowns. I could enjoy the other parts of Christmas – decorating, spending time with loved ones and family, gift giving and receiving, celebrating God’s love.
The biggest thing has been my ability to actually enjoy food. I hate that I still feel guilty when I admit that. Like I’m ‘fessing up to a seriously heinous crime. And that I deserve to be shunned and hated by all for admitting to such weakness. I mean, who could possibly like cherries so much that she eats FIVE in one sitting? FIVE! And look at that full plate of food. AND she ate it all. ALL!
I did it though. I even ate some Christmas trifle. I tried some of the cake. And they did taste good (shh, it’ll be our secret). But I think the best thing of all was being physically able to pitch in and help without collapsing exhausted and weak. My body is so much healthier now. It has strength and energy for living. My mind will catch up eventually.
I hope the year ahead for you and yours is full of good things. I dare to hope it is for me and mine, because
Gloria is not me.