This was a writing task set by my psychiatrist. In April. I finally finished it. You should probably read Dr Suess’s ABC if you haven’t already.
Big A little a, what begins with A?
Anorexia, angry, awful A A A
Big B little b, what begins with B?
Body, belly, backside, boobs B B B
Big C little c what begins with C?
Constantly counting calories, C C C
Big D little d, what begins with D?
Diet, denial, depression, D D D.
E E E E what begins with E?
Excessive exercise, extremes E E E
Big F little f what begins with F?
Food food food food fear fear fear.
Big G little g, what begins with G?
Ghost of who you used to be G G G
Big H little h what begins with H?
Hiding, hating, haunted, hungry H H H
Big I little i, I I I
I’ll be alright, I’ll be okay, lie, lie, lie
Big K little k, kitchen, kettle, kale
Kilograms you constantly have to check upon the scale
Big L little l, L L L
Lies and left last bites
Loss, loose skin and loneliness
Eyes without their lights
M M M what begins with M?
Many munching mouths
Are Making me feel anxious
Must find a quick way out.
Big N little n
What begin with those?
Controlling all my nervousness
By breathing through my nose
O is very useful
You use when you say
“Only organic oranges
Down my oesophagus today”
A B C D E F G
H I J K L M N O…
P!
People, people, please!
Perfection’s what I’m after
So just stop pestering me
Big Q little q
What begins with Q?
Quaking at the quantities
Of piles and piles of food
Big R little r
Restriction’s where it’s at
Remember to throw away the food
You hid inside your hat!
Big S little s
Skeletally slender you sigh
You’re shivering, shaking, scared and staking
Your life on a stupid lie
T T t t
Too tired to talk, too tired to walk
Too terrified to see
Big U little u, what begins with U?
Uncompromising, undernourished
This new and ‘improved’ you
Big V little v
Victorious over your needs
But the victory’s as hollow as the skin around your knees
W w W Wishing, wanting, weighing
But standing up too fast, it seems,
Just sets the world a-swaying
X is very useful as your list of foods grows small
Heck, just cross the lot off – you don’t need food at all
Big Y little y
You’ve aged before your time
You look half dead already but you tell yourself you’re fine
A B C D E F G
H I J K L M N O P
Q R S T U V
W X Y and…
Z!
Big Z little z what begins with Z?
I wish I could ZAP you better
But I can’t even ZAP me
We’ll just do the hard work together
So we can truly be free.
I’ll get there.
Gloria is not me.
Love you beautiful girl!! You are amazing and so valued!! It’s a tough road but I know that you will get there in the end!! Keep fighting and standing up to Gloria because she isn’t you!!! 💐💗❤️😘👏🏼
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Thanks Bev. xo
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