This was a writing task set by my psychiatrist. In April. I finally finished it. You should probably read Dr Suess’s ABC if you haven’t already.
Big A little a, what begins with A?
Anorexia, angry, awful A A A
Big B little b, what begins with B?
Body, belly, backside, boobs B B B
Big C little c what begins with C?
Constantly counting calories, C C C
Big D little d, what begins with D?
Diet, denial, depression, D D D.
E E E E what begins with E?
Excessive exercise, extremes E E E
Big F little f what begins with F?
Food food food food fear fear fear.
Big G little g, what begins with G?
Ghost of who you used to be G G G
Big H little h what begins with H?
Hiding, hating, haunted, hungry H H H
Big I little i, I I I
I’ll be alright, I’ll be okay, lie, lie, lie
Big K little k, kitchen, kettle, kale
Kilograms you constantly have to check upon the scale
Big L little l, L L L
Lies and left last bites
Loss, loose skin and loneliness
Eyes without their lights
M M M what begins with M?
Many munching mouths
Are Making me feel anxious
Must find a quick way out.
Big N little n
What begin with those?
Controlling all my nervousness
By breathing through my nose
O is very useful
You use when you say
“Only organic oranges
Down my oesophagus today”
A B C D E F G
H I J K L M N O…
People, people, please!
Perfection’s what I’m after
So just stop pestering me
Big Q little q
What begins with Q?
Quaking at the quantities
Of piles and piles of food
Big R little r
Restriction’s where it’s at
Remember to throw away the food
You hid inside your hat!
Big S little s
Skeletally slender you sigh
You’re shivering, shaking, scared and staking
Your life on a stupid lie
T T t t
Too tired to talk, too tired to walk
Too terrified to see
Big U little u, what begins with U?
This new and ‘improved’ you
Big V little v
Victorious over your needs
But the victory’s as hollow as the skin around your knees
W w W Wishing, wanting, weighing
But standing up too fast, it seems,
Just sets the world a-swaying
X is very useful as your list of foods grows small
Heck, just cross the lot off – you don’t need food at all
Big Y little y
You’ve aged before your time
You look half dead already but you tell yourself you’re fine
A B C D E F G
H I J K L M N O P
Q R S T U V
W X Y and…
Big Z little z what begins with Z?
I wish I could ZAP you better
But I can’t even ZAP me
We’ll just do the hard work together
So we can truly be free.
I’ll get there.
Gloria is not me.