I can’t believe how excited I am at being able, deemed medically fit (!), to go running again. RUNNING!
I have a rather long list of provisos and strict guidelines but this is something I have earned. Tony has asked me not to break his trust. He is concerned that Gloria will turn this into purging. And I get that. But he can also see how far I’ve managed to come lately.
Here are some wins to celebrate:
- I chose hot chips for lunch the other day because I wanted to. I didn’t even have a mild panic about it. The day was cold and they were just what I felt like. I also had half a toasted sandwich with cheese. I. CHOSE. CHEESE. Cheese! I enjoyed my lunch with my man celebrating his success.
- I can mix up the order in which I prepare food. And not feel like I’m losing control. Not even have to think twice about it.
- Breakfast is not a big deal. It’s still always my muesli, but it’s no longer a huge struggle to get it in.
- I am now at a very respectable and healthy weight. And I’m almost ok with it.
- This winter I’m wearing a normal person’s amount of clothing.
- We don’t have BLTs for dinner nearly as often. That makes me kind of sad because my BLTs are something special.
- The divot under my sternum has filled in and I, Hannah, can see that as gained health and strength, not failure and weakness.
- I have managed to reduce my caffeine intake by a heck of a lot.
- RUNNING! Did I mention I’m going running later this morning?
Look at that list! I’ve run out of gold stars and places to put them because:
Gloria is not me.