Today I had an appointment with a new psychiatrist. More blood tests, referral to a new dietician, medications increased (yes, depression is an issue, too) and back to weekly visits to my GP.
Still torn between wanting recovery and dreading gaining weight. Gaining weight means I’m losing control. Losing control means losing everything. Or so Gloria tries to tell me.
Still in denial. Still refusing to accept what’s in my face and what I am doing to myself and the ones I love. Today is one of the days I just want to go somewhere dark and quiet and sleep til this problem goes away.
I have noticed that life doesn’t ever work that way. The only way to get rid of this is to stand up and face it. Fight. And when I fall down I have to get back up, face it and fight again. But I am just so tired.
Today it is hard to believe that there will be a time when:
Gloria is not me.